There is something about being in the mountains that gives me a sense of peace and amazement. Sitting on a high place overlooking the vast expanses of canyons and ridges. Seeing the clouds roll from the higher peaks. Watching water as it finds its own way around rocks, over falls, and on to its destination. A large bird hovering in an invisible updraft of air, enjoying just being alive. I was able to live for years in a small cabin on the side of a canyon overlooking Santa Barbara, California. In many ways, it was the perfect bachelor life. A season that is past, and I am ok with that. One night before bed, I prayed a prayer asking God that I would have that special woman to share life with. Despite all the benefits of the bachelor lifestyle something was missing, I knew what it was, and I was willing to trade everything for it. I told that to God that night and was 100% sincere about it.
God answered that prayer.
From Santa Barbara I moved back to the Valley of the Sun, Phoenix Az. This is where I was born. I moved there to get to know a girl I had met on an airplane in route to Tel Aviv Israel. That was January. In August, we were married, and thus my education began on the building of a marriage. I had thought I knew all there was to keep a woman happy. True words of a fool were these. I knew nothing! Not only did I know nothing, I was (and still am) an arrogant fool in training to become a tender warrior (Stu Weber).
Our wives will never find unending happiness in us. It is not our job to fill that void. I do not think that was to ever be really filled in anyone, but we will save that for another time.
Women (This is just my understanding here, ladies.) need to feel safe, that we will do our best to protect them as the need may be–what ever it be! This includes provision. They need to feel loved, this is a HUGE part of feeling safe. There is so much in the world that nips away at a womans sense of well-being that tears her down, wears her out, and makes her venerable to destruction. We are men, and we MUST protect them mentally, physically, and emotionally from the world and from our selfish desires. If we do not, we will suffer along with our women. Deep inside of our being, we will know we failed, period. Big, bold, the-size-and-weight-of-a-massive-boulder period! God commands it of us, and we know it. We snivel like little goloums from The Lord Of The Rings. That is what we look like when we don’t step up as men. We are responsible for doing our part without rest to love our wives.
You might say, “You haven’t met my wife.” and you would be right. God has, and He knows your exact situation. He knows you can handle it, and I know that you can too because you were designed by the Creator to do it like nobody else can. We have to get an education in husbandry. We have to get it from the RIGHT source. We owe it to God, our wives, and our children to get a 4.0 GPA. There are so many resources out there, but you have to pursue the material. The time I spend away from building up my marriage will have a significant effect on us all. If your wife is not a gamer, and I mean a serious gamer, then get it out of your life. Take stock of how you spend your time. You are the one who gets to decide what life, marriage, and legacy you will have for your entire family.
Husbands Love Your Wife!
A couple of weeks ago we had a guest speaker at our church who shared incredible insight which I have never heard before. I am saddened that most pastors zip through Ephesians 5 as fast as they can to keep some kind of peace. Maybe they just don’t like all the worms in the can getting loose. Women look at submission like a container of stinky maggots freed in their britches, and it is our fault. Step up and take the blame with me. C’mon be a man. Let’s grab our tools and fix this thing together!
This guest speaker talked about how we focus on the last week of Jesus’ ministry and death on the cross. We need to focus on how Jesus loved the church as a whole, the entire time he was ministering to the people. He was compassionate with the harlot; He turned away every man who was about to throw stones at her. He protected her and forever changed her life for better. He was a healer, both physically and emotionally. He prepared food for His disciples. He calmed raging seas. He encouraged. He showed the way.
You and I as men cannot do it perfectly, but we can do it well.
“Any fool can have a trophy wife. It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.”
I love my wife, and I will learn to love her more every day.
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